Friendships
I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to talk about today but God. 😏
A person goes through life acquiring friendships on all kinds of levels. From close to acquaintances.
I once was told, as you get older the less and less friends you will have in your circle. I thought that person was nuts! Well I am here to tell you they were not. When I say friends, I mean those that you can tell your everything too!
I have been blessed to have a few in my life. I had one for like 20 years and a couple others lasted about half that long. It is really difficult to find these kinds of people in this big ol world. But it seems these friendships go away at some point either because I outgrew the friendship or they outgrew it. However, it ends up being heartbreaking!
In recent years, I lost one because he died. So I guess you could say he outgrew me. No but seriously he was the best! No judgments, loyal to the death and beyond. He took me for me and all of me! God I Miss Him!!
Another friend of mine, we lost touch so many years ago because of religious constrictions. We were a matched pair. We found each other later in life, but it was not the same. We remained in touch down to her last day!
Another friend of mine, well I think she lost her desire to remain in my world. She tired of me...I don't blame her. She was there for all the sorrow and loss that I experienced deeply after the loss of my kids. She was there through all my life changes I experienced in those years while her life was breaking apart at times. I was the needy one at that time and she could not carry the weight. I don't blame her. It was HEAVY! I do miss the closeness we had but I don't blame her. We grow and sometimes we grow apart.
As of recent, another friend I have remained close to has grown away from me. She too was a widow. She became a widow a year or two before I lost Tom. We remained friends even through the loss of Tom. I figured she had been through this herself, maybe I can glean from her. She has been a great support through this process. But once again, she has outgrown me. It is maddening and saddening!
Again I don't blame her. She has to live her life. What my grief is , HEAVY. Not as heavy as it once was and I am grateful for her help but it is still HEAVY.
What have I learned from this....when you are the strong one, as I have been labeled, when you fail or fall or just plain drop out of society, they don't know what to do with that!
It is okay!
This is where I say the only one I can count on who has been there my whole life is My Heavenly Father! He has never left my side. He has been my true friend through it all!!
This is just another glitch I have to work through and I will.
As one friend said to me one time, Mary, no matter what happens to you, you land on your feet.
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