Postcard Humor
My Hunting Trip-How It Really Happened!
1am-Alarm Clock Rings
2am-Hunting Party Arrive. Drag You Out Of Bed
2:30am-Throw Everything Except The Kitchen Sink In The Pickup
3 am-Leave For The Deep Woods
3:15am-Drive Back Home And Pick Up Gun
3:30am-Drive Like Hell To Get To The Woods Before Daylight
4 am-Set Up Camp-Forgot Tent.
4:30am-Head Into The Woods
6:05am-See 8 Deer
6:06am-Take Aim And Squeeze Trigger
6:08am-Load Gun While Watching Deer Go Over The Hill
8 am-Head Back To Camp
9 am-Still Looking For Camp
10am-Realized You Don't Know Where Camp Is
Noon-Fire Gun For Help-Eat Wild Berries
12:15pm-Run Out Of Bullets-8 Deer Come Back
12:20pm-Strange Feeling In Stomach
12:30pm-Realize You Ate Poison Berries
12:45pm-Rescued!
12:55pm-Rushed To Hospital To Have Stomach Pumped
3pm-Arrive Back In Camp
3:30pm-Leave Camp To Kill Deer
4pm-Return To Camp For Bullets
4:01pm-Load Gun-Leave Camp Again
5pm-Empty Gun On Bird That's Bugging You
6pm-Arrive At Camp-See Deer Grazing At Camp
6:01pm-Load Gun
6:02pm-Fire Gun
6:03pm-One Dead Pickup Truck
6:05pm-Hunting Partner Returns To Camp Dragging Deer
6:06pm-Repress Strong Desire To Shoot Hunting Partner
6:15pm-Take Pickup, Leave Partner And His Deer In The Woods
6:25pm-Pickup Boilz Over-Hole Shot In Block
6:26pm-Start Walking
6:30pm-Stumble And Fall-Drop Gun In The Mud
6:35pm-Meet Bobcat
6:36pm-Take Aim
6:37pm-Fire Gun-Blow Up Barrel (Plugged With Mud)
6:38pm-#@*#&@ Pants
6:39pm-Climb Tree
9pm-Bobcat Departs-Wrap #@*#&@ Gun Around Tree...............
Midnight-Home At Last
Copyright © 2014 M.E. Masterson All Photographs Copyright © 2014 M.E. Masterson
1am-Alarm Clock Rings
2am-Hunting Party Arrive. Drag You Out Of Bed
2:30am-Throw Everything Except The Kitchen Sink In The Pickup
3 am-Leave For The Deep Woods
3:15am-Drive Back Home And Pick Up Gun
3:30am-Drive Like Hell To Get To The Woods Before Daylight
4 am-Set Up Camp-Forgot Tent.
4:30am-Head Into The Woods
6:05am-See 8 Deer
6:06am-Take Aim And Squeeze Trigger
6:08am-Load Gun While Watching Deer Go Over The Hill
8 am-Head Back To Camp
9 am-Still Looking For Camp
10am-Realized You Don't Know Where Camp Is
Noon-Fire Gun For Help-Eat Wild Berries
12:15pm-Run Out Of Bullets-8 Deer Come Back
12:20pm-Strange Feeling In Stomach
12:30pm-Realize You Ate Poison Berries
12:45pm-Rescued!
12:55pm-Rushed To Hospital To Have Stomach Pumped
3pm-Arrive Back In Camp
3:30pm-Leave Camp To Kill Deer
4pm-Return To Camp For Bullets
4:01pm-Load Gun-Leave Camp Again
5pm-Empty Gun On Bird That's Bugging You
6pm-Arrive At Camp-See Deer Grazing At Camp
6:01pm-Load Gun
6:02pm-Fire Gun
6:03pm-One Dead Pickup Truck
6:05pm-Hunting Partner Returns To Camp Dragging Deer
6:06pm-Repress Strong Desire To Shoot Hunting Partner
6:15pm-Take Pickup, Leave Partner And His Deer In The Woods
6:25pm-Pickup Boilz Over-Hole Shot In Block
6:26pm-Start Walking
6:30pm-Stumble And Fall-Drop Gun In The Mud
6:35pm-Meet Bobcat
6:36pm-Take Aim
6:37pm-Fire Gun-Blow Up Barrel (Plugged With Mud)
6:38pm-#@*#&@ Pants
6:39pm-Climb Tree
9pm-Bobcat Departs-Wrap #@*#&@ Gun Around Tree...............
Midnight-Home At Last
Copyright © 2014 M.E. Masterson All Photographs Copyright © 2014 M.E. Masterson
Oh yes, been there done that....
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness Stephen.....I do believe this is one of my favs when it comes to postcards...I laughed until I cried.
DeleteOh my, sounds like one of my days. I love the old saying "I'd forget my head, if it wasn't attached".
ReplyDeleteI have a ton of those days...oops did I say that outloud dang what's a girl to do...
DeleteI haven't been there but can only imagine. This was too funny!
ReplyDeleteI was reading it out loud in front of my FIL and giving a sarcastic rhetoric with it and he was laughing with the tears pouring out...had to share with everybody after that......
DeleteFarm man loved this...while having some bad hunting trips he says none were ever of this caliber...LOL...Loved it!
ReplyDelete