On the Verge
I feel like I have been on standstill since May. Things in storage, renting a cabin and just staying busy enough to not go nuts!
I can finally see that light in the tunnel. Let me explain...
I have a contract to buy a house in Central Montana about 4 hours from my present spot in Western Montana. And today (9/11) my property in Missouri is under contract to sell! Finally!
In October everything should come together. Closing on Missouri house and purchase of new one, all in about a week's time.
I am so thrilled!
The little house needs some TLC but should be fun to turn it into mine. This is the first time in my life that I have solely owned a house. I have been a partner to a few but this one is all mine. I am embracing this for more than one reason, but the main being, moving forward.
I look at it like this, I didn't choose to be unmarried/single but life chose it for me. Tom's passing only gave me one choice in my mind. Believe me I argued, I screamed, I reasoned, I fought, I did all things against the will to live this life that was dealt me. But every day thus far, my eyes opened, I rose up out of bed, feet on the ground and moved on with yet another day without my best friend, husband, partner. I thanked my heavenly Father, sometimes through gritted teeth, but I thanked Him for waking me one more day.
And now, I feel like maybe I found something I can put my focus on for the positive. A new start.
October 10th will be the three year marker. It is truly hard to believe he has been gone that long. To me it feels like last week. Soon it will feel like last month and last year and you get the point.
I will never forget this wonderful human being God put in my pathway when I really needed him. He will forever be carved into my journey.
Back to the little house. I chose this house because I felt this is where God wanted me to be at this time. I really wanted to be in Western Montana but God wanted me someplace else. I have learned to listen to Him because I trust Him. I know that is saying a lot for me. If you go back through my files here on this blog you will find out why that is. Let's just say for now, God has not let me down, A whole lot of humans have!
I have moved all my things closer to the town I am moving to except what is in my little rental cabin. Moved my RV into storage too. I am making arrangements for the Connex container to either be moved or sold.
I am checking into alternative heat options for those times when the power goes out.
And making my checklist of things I would like to fix, upgrade and remove.
So exciting!
Did you hear that? I am excited! I have embraced this new pathway. I choose to not wallow. Although it would be so easy. I choose to walk on. Tom would want me too. I know he would have said his goodbyes to his family and lived in the woods like a mountain man for the rest of his days if I had been the one who had died. Tom would want me to be happy and live. As he would have said "Babe, You are one lucky lady"
God I miss him!
In the waiting for things to close.....I will finish up the sewing projects that I am in the middle of (two quilts, repair couple pj bottoms). I will continue to wake up (if it be God's will) put my feet on the ground and I will continue to pray for smooth sailing.
luv Mary
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